Fortune Favors The Bold

MEDIA WHARRGARBL

Can we just set the record straight on something?

Obama is the prohibitive favorite to win the electoral college right now. “Oh, but something could happen!” We’ve got 32 days to the election, or just about 4 1/2 weeks, and now that a strong October jobs report has come out, Obama’s suitability as an incumbent president is now without question. We are too close to the election to assume that a global event will throw off the polling 5 points or more (especially because typically Obama presents himself well whenever shit goes down). And we can all agree that Romney doesn’t bring anything big to the table unless he suddenly resolves all of his integrity issues, empathy issues, and lack-of-details-on-all-promises issues in the next couple of weeks. His own party is underwhelmed with him, which is also true of Obama, but… again, he’s just not bringing anything big to the table. That’s a politically agnostic observation. 

(Okay, so Romney wasn’t born in Kenya, and that one’s pretty big. BTW, if you laughed knowingly at that, go hang yourself right now.)

So… here’s something we all can agree on… even Seth Meyers agrees on this…

OBAMA

JUST

HAS

TO 

KEEP

HIS

MOUTH

SHUT

——————

SO WHY DOES IT MATTER IF ROMNEY ‘WINS’ ANY DEBATES?!?!?!

The country knows Romney’s position on everything! And we know he can’t win an election against a generic left-leaning moderate, never mind a skilled orator such as Obama. And even Obama knows that! But guess what? Obama’s not going to take any risks! He’s going to be strictly apolitical in the next 32 days because, well, it means he’s going to win for sure! He could also squabble with Romney, and probably strengthen his position, but he could also say something (probably correct, reasonable, thoughtful, agreeable) that Romney The CEO Psycho uses to clobber him. If Obama says as many as two things that become GOP talking points, the media will want to pick up that “narrative” so that they have more to “report” on, and the country will become an echo chamber of those criticisms, and the election will suddenly be close again. If Obama says THREE things along those lines, it’s Romney’s election. Why risk it? SAY NOTHING. FOLD ALL THE DEBATES. DO YOUR JOB AS PRESIDENT. LET ROMNEY DO ALL THE TALKING. FUCK THE MEDIA THEY ARE STUPID, THEY ALL PICKED ARIZONA LAST NIGHT ANYWAY.

And for god’s sake, ignore your donors! A true leader doesn’t take marching orders from the peanut gallery! You think Joe Girardi shifts Jeter in the lineup because Yankees fans in the $$$ seats behind home plate heckled him to do it? NOPE. Obama, you know what to do! ZIP IT! ZIPP! ZUPP! ZIPIT! ZIPS! ZIPT!