Fortune Favors The Bold

UPFRONTS

MONDAY

8:00PM — 9:00PM: Angsty Female (And Her Gay Boyfriends)

9:00PM — 10:00PM: We’re Trying Another SciFi Action Thriller That No One Gives A Shit About

10:00PM — 11:00PM: Fishing For Pedophiles

TUESDAY

8:00PM — 8:30PM: Show Where Funniest Thing Is Boss Who Is Brassy Female

8:30PM — 9:00PM: Show That Is Actually Funny That Is Next Year’s Upfronts Cannon Fodder

9:00PM — 9:30PM: Show That Is Not Funny That Actually Gets Network’s Highest Ratings

9:30PM — 10:00PM: Show That Is Hopelessly Boring That Gets Jammed Behind Show With Network’s Highest Ratings

10:00PM — 11:00PM: We Gave JJ Abrams This Hour And A Blank Check

WEDNESDAY

8:00PM — 9:00PM: Person With Amazing Brain Solves Crimes

9:00PM — 10:00PM: Guy With Sunglasses Solves Crimes

10:00PM — 11:00PM: Fierce Amazonian Lady Solves Sex Crimes

THURSDAY

8:00PM — 8:30PM: Former SNL Star Makes Good

8:30PM — 9:00PM: Former Friends Star Makes Good

9:00PM — 9:30PM: Former Arrested Development Star Makes Good

9:30PM — 10:00PM: Former Show That Used To Be Funny Dies A Protracted Death

10:00PM — 11:00PM: These Doctors Just Keep Having Sex With Each Other!

FRIDAY

8:00PM — 11:00PM: Graveyard

SATURDAY

8:00PM — 11:00PM: Come On, All The Normal People Are Out Having A Life, We Can Bury A Star Trek Spinoff Here

SUNDAY

8:00PM — 9:00PM: Show You Really Want To Watch

8:00PM — 9:00PM: Another Show You Really Want To Watch

8:43PM — 9:43PM: Yet Another Show You Really Want To Watch (slightly delayed by the conclusion of a Bills-Chargers game)

9:00PM — 10:00PM: The Show You Most Want To Watch Because People Die And There Are Boobs

9:00PM — 10:00PM: Fuck, I Have No Chance Of Clearing The DVR This Week

9:43PM — 10:43PM: THAT DAMN GAME STILL MESSING UP MY SCHEDULE

10:00PM — 11:00PM: Identity Theft Perpetrator Has Asinine Career

10:00PM — 10:30PM: Girl No One Likes Is Broke (aka I Hate This Show But People Will Be Talking About It)

10:43PM — 11:43PM: ASDLAKSDJFLASKDJFL;ASDF

11:00PM — 2:00AM: Unhelpful Encores Of Everything