ninety9:
choire:
I can’t believe John Vorwald wrote a lament about how much the Lower East Side has changed… SINCE 2003. Oh, fine. God bless, honey. I do remember when I first moved here and I used to take the J into Manhattan to Essex and Delancey and then would sort of run-walk up to the East Village with my head down. I mean, it wasn’t exactly the 1970s but we also didn’t leave the house without a weapon. (Legal: very short knives. Not legal but useful: stun guns.) Related: I have got to get the fuck out of New York City. Also: I am old.
Someone, somewhere, I’m sure has done a parody of this sort of article, like how much things have changes, since, say, last week. RELATED
Well, then, none of you will like the article I have coming out this week. Though it won’t indicate that the L.E.S. “started” six years ago, it’s basically covering the change over the same territory.
Granted, the changes since gentrification are not as pronounced as 70’s-00’s. And in the interim, you have not particularly needed a weapon to get around on a daily basis. But, yes, it is different! 2003 was gentrified enough. 2009 is way too fucking gentrified. Vorwald isn’t taking it far enough when he uses the words “young and carefree”… those adjectives are too vague. Try “spoiled”, “tasteless”, “gluttonous”, “vain”, “senseless”… and just a whole bunch of other things that I’d avoid at all costs. I think the best way to describe the neighborhood now is hotel district since all of the new developments are centered around pricey hotels, condos for the type of people who stay in pricey hotels when they’re not at home, and street-level retail that caters mostly to people who would be staying in pricey hotels. The whole mess has fallen in-line rather quickly and unexpectedly. And I can’t see a normal person eating/drinking all the time in that neighborhood when even an ounce of effort would uncover more interesting offerings at lower prices. But the scene down there makes total sense if they’re catering only to weekenders and fashionable tourists, as they do in MePa.
I moved out a month ago up to a quiet and semi-tasteful part of Kips Bay, probably where I belonged in the first place. Almost, but not quite, a two year stay. Won’t miss much.
Guys, you’ll love this one:
Subject: A New Journalism Job Awaits in the New York City Area
**EXCITED HAND CLAPPING** I know you’ve all been waiting for this moment. There is actually at least one real journalism job left in NYC! Let’s see what the job is:
Dear Brian,
Monster.com has just received new Journalism jobs in the New York City area, so don’t miss out on these great opportunities. Search and apply to these new jobs tailored to your unique profile today.
**SEARCH NOW**
Uhhh, where’s the job? Maybe I’ll click that “search now” button. Let’s see:
Oh, that’s just fucking depressing. One of the job titles is “JOURNALISM?”
Seriously, Monster.com, lose my contact info, forever.
