November 2009
From The Inbox
This is my ticket back to financial stability. Anyone else want to be filmed with their pants down?
From: YouTube
Dear brianvan2923,
Your video NoPants Subway Ride 2K7 - Riding Breezy has become popular on YouTube, and you’re eligible to apply for the YouTube Partnership Program, which allows you to make money from playbacks of your video.
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A roach just crawled up my leg at work.
ohhleary:
Disgusting. We just got rid of the infestation of gnats that we’ve had for weeks, and now this.
At least it wasn’t a roach crawling across your forehead at 3am. A waterbug-sized roach.
Fat Man In A Little Coat
That about sums up Charlie Weis’ time at Notre Dame.
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SO GOOD. →
(via alexbalk)
“Like, he’s not even going to Art Basel.”
ZOMG. Glad I wasn’t drinking something.
So my dreams were just crushed.
thatgirlallison:
I found out that one of my good friends is working at ELLE now. I asked if he’d met Olivia or anyone else. He said, “That show is fake. They don’t actually work here. Erin’s real, and she’s really nice, but that’s it.”
I knew the show was fake, but I didn’t need such strong confirmation on the fact! Boo.
Yay! I am obsessed with Erin, and the way they make her stomp...
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baxterp2:
When I got this temp assignment, I was told it was through early January. Now they’re saying Friday. Thanks guys, I’d love to be jobless coming up on Christmas. That’s fantastic. Thanks.
So sorry to hear that, Mo.
This is why I avoid temp work unless I have absolutely nothing better going on. There is zero integrity in the relationship from the contractor to the staffer;...
Cyber Monday, Cyber Week
I keep hearing these things, as if they were to motivate me to make rational, well-thought purchasing decisions. Because when they say jump, we jump. BTW, can we at least rename this nonsense? E-commerce has nothing to do with cybernetics. No one has to put on headgear to shop at Amazon. (well, maybe Shaman does)
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You say potato, and I say penis
The commenters going crazy over here, talking about capital punishment for DUI accidents, are maybe frothing up a little too much. They clearly misunderstand the nature of the problem, endemic to American society.
DUI is not premeditated murder; it’s the ACCIDENTAL result of very poor decision-making, correlated with non-criminal acts* that cause degradation of our decision-making skills....
ohhleary:
Just a thought: could this have anything to do with [the wrecking ball video]?
That’s on the same block!
Um, so, what’s the verdict on wrecking balls in NYC, then? Again, I kinda remember reading, in the Times, that they were no longer allowed for demolition jobs in NY city. (along the same lines, high-rise implosions are also not permitted in NY State) This is the only...
bulicks:
Lady (Hear Me Tonight), Modjo
Every...
No names, no links: Writers give themselves a pass...
markcoatney:
jayrosen:
Mark Cuban: Rupert Murdoch to Block Google = Smart
I love to tweak all the internet information must be free bigots. They get so damn religious about information on the net that they lose what little objectivity and awareness of the real world they had in the first place
Wherever it’s found, bigotry deserves to be called out— say, with a link?
eweek, When Legal...
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Watchtanya77:
Out of Control Wrecking Ball hits a passing car.
UPDATE: O’Leary suggests inothernews (whose archives are truncated because he posts 100 times per day) caught this as part of a movie set. So, yeah, fugazy!
I am under the impression that this is a fake/posed video because, according to my info (which, of course, I can’t source at the moment!), wrecking balls are illegal to...
Scratch that about “Chef Academy” - they just tossed 5 or more people off the show and there are only, like, 2 or 3 people left. In the second episode! And this chef guy is such a dick about it too. What kind of crap is this? UNFOLLOW.
UPDATE: The “FAIL” people are not off the show. It’s just one strike out of three allowed. They explained this five times, but then...
I think we're hooked on Chef Academy
“He’s late for everything, but he’s not late for (being a porn star)”
And meanwhile, he’s wearing a gigantic clock on his neck like Flavor Flav. Creepily, he also looks like Ashley from Top Chef Las Vegas.
I haven’t even begun to mention the meringues cooked in the apples and the creme brulee cooked in the oranges.
From The Inbox
We may have to start a new ongoing series, “Are You Kidding Me, Meetup.com?”
These recommendations landed today:
From: info@meetup.com Subject: Your Weekly Update
New Meetup Groups
Single, Over 40 and no kids Morristown, NJ
Here are just a few of the 1,822 Meetups near you this week:
Somerville Indoor Fitness Boot Camp Meetup November 30, 2009 5:30 AM
Where can I set the...
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When he’s not yachting off the Cote d’Azur, he is a well-known man-about-town and boulevardier. He lives in a fabulous triplex in Manhattan’s tony Upper East Side with Brutus and Boris, his pet bears, and Cat the cat, a cat.
Really, there's no one else with good teeth that...
Biden, who has the blinding white teeth of a starlet
Needs Moar Turkey
Figure it couldn’t hurt to ask:
If you think you’ll have a crapload of turkey leftovers in NYC and are looking to offload, please reach out. I will likely be coming back here from dinner on Thursday full-bellied but empty-handed. I need something to eat Saturday for lunch; I am demented and I think that far ahead about such things. Would be happy to barter cooking services or make a...
Craigslist-y stuff!
All of this is moving-related (space needed, stuff to give away, stuff to sell):
I am looking to get storage space in Manhattan or northwestern Brooklyn. It is freaking expensive, though. Small spaces are a bit overpriced, but taking half (and paying half) of a mid-sized unit would work out perfectly. So… ummm… anyone overflowing with clutter? Let’s go halfsies.
Furniture...
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I feed off of everyone's weird obsessions. It...
justsayjolie:
“How about Choire eating a whole can of cranberry sauce straight from the can. In front of Balk. And Cat the Cat. While smoking a Marlboro. Did we just neglect to address this, or is it too stunning for words? I thought about you possibly having a seizure while watching it.”
—
BrianVan, continuing to understand me in a way that should trouble him as much as it troubles me.
Coffee
georgiaisyourfriend:
I was trying to think of the perfect description for how wonderful that very first sip of black coffee in the morning is, such as the one I just took not ten minutes ago, and then it came to me: it’s so wonderful, it gives me a “coochie twinge”. That is my new favorite saying. Learn it.
I think everyone needs to learn about “coochie twinge”.
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Guess who has 8 Google Wave invites?
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"I am now in 6th grade, I am devastated."
choire:
If you for some reason feel the need to have a great, purging Thanksgiving cry, I have just the thing for you. (Do not proceed if otherwise.) Perhaps you are an actress who has run out of motivation, or maybe you are just pent up? So this terrible news brief about a high school acquaintance of mine who was killed last week was apparently discovered by his current elementary school...
Dirtiest Block in Midtown? →
bulicks:
Hey, what’s with W. 48th Street between Sixth and Fifth? I don’t mind a little grit in my New York streets; if fact, I welcome it. But this block of tiny eateries is really, really dirty, especially when you consider its proximity to super-clean, spic-and-span Rockefeller Center.
Udon at Variety Café is good though. If you’re a regular, you get the yellow radish pickle.
I hate to...
I'll still laugh all the way to the bank.
antikris:
Dear BV….it’s rather narcissistic of you to assume people would actually PAY to read what you have to say!!!!
xx
-AK
I have figured out another genius personal blog-to-book idea. It’s called, “BrianVan’s List of Criticisms and Snide Remarks”. Self-explanatory.
It will be surely bigger than a pamphlet.
“Given his controversial live performance on the AMAs we were concerned about...”
– Spokesperson for ABC’s GOOD MORNING AMERICA, on why they decided to cancel an appearance by Adam Lambert after his “controversial” number on the American Music Awards.
CBS’s The Early Show booked him instead.
(via TV Newser)(via inothernews)
Getting moved from ABC to CBS in the morning is not an...
sherry:
if we are all going to get together, perhaps we could do something like work in a soup kitchen instead of just sitting around drinking? Don’t get me wrong, I like to drink too, but I wouldn’t mind doing something that benefitted the less fortunate. Thoughts?
Agreed. On one hand, we could organize a one-off charity event. If high-schoolers can do it, this online high school certainly...
Having a meetup up 6 days before Christmas in...
feistyred:
ohhleary:
feistyred:
is a fucking horrible idea.
Actually, I think it’s a secret plan to keep Brian Van from going to the NYC Tumblr meetup.
I mean who thought up this shit, they are obviously NOT a New Yorker, I wouldn’t be caught dead in Union Square during the whole month of december. It’s ridiculously obnoxious.
Aside from the fact that I’ll be in town that day...
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The only thing more horrific than this video is... →
(via alexbalk)
What, you don’t eat corn this way, too?
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LOVES IT. It just goes on and on and on, to the point of fatigue. But I do enjoy the showmanship.
I figured out this much: she is NBD if you really think about what people wear to parties in NYC. She just has a bigger budget than most…
Actually, the only “big deal” part of her act is the songwriting and composition and musicianship. Most of the pop culture world takes that for...
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"C IS FOR COFFEE!!!"
(via inothernews)
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OH HAI CHOIRE →
