February 2008
I just realized I put myself in a position to have this thought stream: “Hmmm. Someone wants me to come to Fat Baby. Well, it is really only around the corner, and how bad could it be?” Note to everyone else: Never move anywhere near Fat Baby.
“I’m moving to Canada”. More self-righteous, left-leaning words have never been spoken. But this prompts a question: What do right-wingers say when, conversely, the USA runs liberal amok? Where would they move? What place on planet Earth is temptingly conservative without being miserable? I’ve never heard someone say, “I’m moving to Saudi Arabia” or,...
Umm, news? Hank Steinbrenner opens mouth, bashes Red Sox. Also: Water is wet.
Mad Man Libs! See if you can guess what I’m talking about. Also, this is how I turn a boring grievance posting into a fun puzzle. Like cheese on broccoli! Here it goes: I’d be so (adjective) if I could avoid (noun) from now on! I would prefer to (verb) my (noun)! Leave your ideas in the comments.
I watched Josh Charles’ character bawling his eyes out last night on “In Treatment” (scarily addictive), and I didn’t know whether I was watching an Emmy-winning performance or the most emasculating moment ever televised. Maybe both. It’s a show entirely about well-crafted trainwrecks, and guess what… I love watching trainwrecks! Related: He Listens. He Cares....
Barack Obama is not just your new bicycle. He’s your new Jim Jones. And possibly your new Kurt Cobain, someday.
brianvan.isyournewbicycle.com
Don’t tell anyone… But I regret everything drinking.
From the Delightful Things We Knew Already Dept.: Anthony Lane is such a bitch!
Good advice: wear a cheap, ridiculous wig, and surround yourself with crazies.
If someone took your uterus, you’d be in a surly mood, too.
Malaprop? “This certainly will serve as the paradigm for other cities,” he said. par·a·digm n. One that serves as a pattern or model. So, translated: This certainly will serve as the one that serves as a pattern or model for other cities. Shoulda just said, “This will be the paradigm for other cities.”
Reasons I love Anthony Bourdain, #2352361: EATER: Final question. Where’s the after party? TB: After party—if one materialized—would have to be at the Club Deuce. Miami’s finest emporium of high style cocktails. Catering by San Loco Taqueria across the street.
David Spade and Billy Joel are keeping silent on their favorite political candidates because they don’t want to alienate any fans. Fans? That means there’s more than one? Hah. (I kid. David Spade is a hilarious smartass, and people dislike me for singing too much Billy Joel at karaoke) In any case, imagine what the Venn Diagram looks like for the fan bases of those guys. People who...
Rodriguez said he still hasn’t spoken with Scott Boras since negotiating his new contract without his longtime agent. A-Rod, however, has been dealing with others in Boras’ office. The last sentence of the story. Talk about burying the lede! They’re still not talking and it’s months later… it’s like Andy and Roger! Or Roger and Brian! Or Hank and Johan! Or Hank...
Having too much fun to be sad. Too sad to be happy. Too horny to think about anything else.
Budget watch: Beer depot: WIN. Pearl River: WIN. Sur La Table: EPIC FAIL.
Not visible: teardrop tattoos on cheek.
In keeping with the “things white people love” theme: barackobamaisyournewbicycle.com
Well FFFFOUND!
(in which I post random favorites from fffound.com)
Listage: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.org/ which is as obvious, condemning, and awesome as it sounds. It’s being spread out all over the tubes, but don’t miss it. My current favorite (after one minute):#62 Knowing what’s best for poor people kanYe has posted the new video for Flashing Lights on his blog and Rex (source of the link above, too) called it “hip hop’s...
And CNN (via Jezebel) sort-of confirms what I just said.
“Why Perfect Dates Make Lousy Partners (Best News I’ve Heard All Day)” (via Julia Allison) She says at the end, “Guys! Did you hear that!??! I may not be much of a, um, “self-monitor” (although I’m getting better!!) but I make an awesome girlfriend. :)” I could be committing some form of blog suicide by saying this, but she’s probably right! As in, maybe...
Helmut Newton, on photography:Are you saying you are sometimes tempted? I look at models like a farmer looks at his potatoes. You mean like a baked potato, or a raw potato? I would think a baked potato would feel better. Or for best results, mashed potatoes, as the Beastie Boys might recommend.
“laughably self-absorbed” but remarkably on-point. We need to be less obsessed with money, and concentrate on people. Unclench our assholes a bit.
GIIAAANTS!!! THEY FUCKING DID IT FUCK MASSHOLES/BRADY/SIMMONS/O’LEARY’S COUCH/EVERY SPORTS ANALYST EVER/MADDEN SIMULATIONS/TIKI BARBER/HOMELESSNESS/FiDi/MASSHOLES/YOUR APPLES/MITT ROMNEY/CLAM CHOWDER/SMALL TELEVISIONS/UNDERARMOR/TONY ROMO/DR. HOUSE/BOSTON GLOBE/MASSHOLES
Well, to be honest, it looks sort of instructional…
