January 2008
December 2007
The 2007 Ho Ho Ho/Humbug Index
Thought of this a few days ago… I’ve been feeling close to (or less than) ambivalent about the holidays this year, and rather than list the pros and cons of the season, I thought I’d just do it by the numbers. In no particular order: (-2) Christmas holiday promotions starting back in October (-4) The annihilation of Thanksgiving, fall (-5) My $300 rent increase for my January...
10 Tips for Approaching Women Observe something. Gimmicky. Smile. Do this at all times. Do not hesitate. (if you feel the heat coming around the corner… oh, wait, sorry, that just popped into my head) Positive body language. Show her your boner. Not too fast. (items like this are how an 8 item list becomes a 10 item list) Keep eye contact. Eyes, not tits! Listen up. (writer’s asking...
Cadwalader’s 2007 Holiday Card. Excessive but awesome.
“I had a life for the first time… I knew then that I wanted to have more success as a mother than a singer.” But Angelil told her that too much money and too many people were involved. Not only would the Colosseum cost $95 million to build, her initial three-year, $100 million contract broke records for a live entertainer.Yeah, great husband you got there, Celine.
Fair warning: If I ever get an email from you saying that I’m “Tagged”, you are dead to me. That is equivalent to a billion Zombie Pokes. Not. Cool.
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Folks, there’s some gold up in thar Tubes today… Well, my last name isn’t exactly the worst out there… (from Deadspin, with an even funnier joke thread: What did the Chinese couple name their white baby? Sumpingwong) The Worst Band Names Of ‘07 The End Of Roger Clemens. Finally. From the files of Serious Cat: Exiled to a War Zone, for His Safety Retire Trajan. Also,...
In Major Reversal, Viacom Returns Healthcare To Freelancers. Victory!
Fuck da subway… Not only will my fares go up, but I’ll wind up paying more for the privilege of having random people come up to me on the train and start talking to me about masturbation, like what just happened. Ewww.
so led zeppelin played their tribute/reunion concert tonight in Britain from all accounts so far, they fucking aced it this means that I must keep money in the bank for a possible US tour if the have the balls to do it zeppelin is one of the bands who I’ll defend to the death as one of the best ever http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/10/arts/music/11zeppelin.html
“They want both women and men to think about what each of them really wants out of a sexual encounter, and negotiate how to get it.” Holy shit, we’re making sense now.
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Squirrel Armor “Top 10 things I love about Anna Rawson: 9. She’ll help market the LPGA for young girls all across the world. I’m all for supporting the game of golf! 10. Anna Rawson is hot. I’m sorry, but she is!” (All kinds of great lessons for little girls there. Some of those near-crotch shots are almost unsafe for work, btw) Hmmm, this is kinda tear-jerking, ain’t it? Dunno...
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“They gave away free makeovers but I … whisky.” Mr. Splashy Pants (The losing names will, of course, be appropriately used by celebrity babies over the next few years) Adding Comments to Tumblr (danke, Alice) Top Picks: NYC Shoe Shopping for Well-Heeled Women aka “How to ruin your ‘fuck-me’ pedicure with the ugliest pair of gold fish sandals ever.” ...
Love the subway: This morning, the awesome soul acapella guys made an appearance on my car on the 1 train. But, even better, I saw something amazing at the Union Square station yesterday - a guy with an amplified electric violin playing a solo part of Enjoy The Silence with a backing track. Awesome.
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“Mr. Darwin’s body was never recovered, for reasons that are now obvious.” Captain Guanabee CrazyBlindDate.com is wearing on my patience. After 1 happy date, my last 4 dates were cancelled or unacknowledged by the recipient. (I do not appreciate having my time wasted! But at least it frees up time for the gym.) Can you imagine me living with these cuckoo birds? New York State Tenants...
Quick Hits
Everything you need to know about my thoughts on Gawker is sprinkled among my comments on Gawker. Use the social features on there to add me as a friend! J came down from Boston again this weekend and nearly broke me. Literally! I observed, sincerely, that she was good company. I also added her on Facebook. Maybe tomorrow I’ll send her an e-card. (Flowers are, of course, not part of the...
