Dick at my Job: We’re not late with our schedules, Tony is on vacation this week so he just can’t get to it.
Me: But you didn’t turn your schedules into him UNTIL he went on vacation, rather than when they were due, so they ARE late.
DAMJ: No, [my name said in a really slow and condescending tone] they were not LATE, Toooonnnneeeee is on vacation which is why they are not entered. So, is that ok with you, is it ok if Tony goes on vacation?
Me: Since the schedule was due on June 16, and today is July 22, we can say that your work is late. As a matter of fact, that is the exact definition of missing a deadline, AND being ill prepared. Also, since you waited until Tony went on vacation to turn in your work, you will now be an additional week late. But to answer your question, yes, it is ok with me because last Thursday I turned in my resignation. My last day here will be July 31, so proceed as you please.
Sometimes you see a promo for a concert, and you kinda like the artist and you’re not opposed to the venue, but you feel like the combination of the two is unholy and you start making plans to be out-of-town that evening
So AO Scott wrote a less-than-favorable review of Woody Allen’s new movie. He just wasn’t impressed. And he also made a comment about the huge age difference between Colin Firth and Emma Roberts, who in true Allen form are the romantic end-game of the film:
Even if it were possible to watch this movie without thinking about Mr. Allen’s personal life — or to avoid arguments afterward about whether he is a creep, a monster or a misunderstood artist whose behavior has no bearing on his work — it would be hard to miss the complacency at its heart and the purely mechanical expediency of its execution.
There are now 187 comments on that review, most of which are by dudes who are SO PISSED that Scott dared to mention Allen’s personal life, because he “has been convicted of nothing.” They’re allv variations on that, with additional claims that the reviewer is too biased and that Mia Farrow has her secrets too.
Either there are that many dudes out there with nothing better to do than get butthurt by a review that wasn’t even mean in the first place, or Team Allen is in overdrive on the Times website.
I’m gonna go with “dudes with nothing better to do”
Mr. P has an interview in you in a couple weeks and we need to decided if we want to live inside you. What parts of you should we see? Do we have to eat your grits? Can middle-aged art weirdos find friends inside you? Do you have any alcohol? We’re looking forward to seeing you but slightly frightened that your heat will cremate our pasty, wet Canadian ghost souls, so try to go easy on us okay?
Update, the smarm just went into Ludicrous Speed on the medium of “brevity” and quality of the trolling dropped precipitously as a result.
One happy coincidence of the nature of trolling is that it gets less effective as you lay it on thicker, like a glue that cannot cure. So now I’m just laughing and thinking, wow you are a serious adult in America, good luck holding onto all those teeth if you talk to everyone like that
I am indeed tired of smarmy people on the Internet, especially the ones who band together on social media in smarminess, if anyone says something critical about one then the rest of them come out of the woodwork to attack and be unsympathetic little shits like a lunch table in a high school cafeteria, grow up fucks
Lena Dunham, Will Forte, Karen Gillan and Soledad O’Brien are also among the original one-off ‘7 Days in Hell,’ a mockumentary send-up of professional tennis, from “Girls” writer/co-EP Murray Miller and the “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” star.
Very much in.
This might be everything I’ve ever wanted???
Waaaaait there’s more!
The one-off HBO Comedy Event is described as a sports mockumentary starring Samberg and Game of Thrones breakout Kit Harington as fierce tennis rivals in an epic, seven-day match at Wimbledon. Samberg will play Aaron Williams, a superstar tennis “bad boy,” while Harington is set as Charles Lloyd Poole, an Andy Murray-type prodigy and certified truck driver who takes on Williams at Wimbledon 2004.
The all-star cast includes Portlandia’s Fred Armisen, Girls star Lena Dunham, Last Man on Earth’s Will Forte, Selfie’s Karen Gillan, Howie Mandel, Michael Sheen, Mary Steenburgen, June Squibb and Soledad O’Brien, with the latter poised to play herself. Additional character details were not yet available, with more cast expected to be added to the project.
I mean, “more cast”? Just throw Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman in there too
Ok, another real PRO-TIP that is even more of a real tip than yesterday:
In Gmail, I take my most used labels and focus areas and assign numbers to them.
So, for example, say I have two projects I’m working on - an event I’m planning and an online at-your-own-pace course - plus a web design practice on the side and a whole shitload of “BUY THIS” shitty email coming in. Thus I have a label called “1-webdesign”, a label called “2-event”, a label called “3-course”, and finally (at the end to leave room for more projects) a label called “9-promotional”
(note: My names for most of this stuff are often much more detailed and I have about 20 of them at this point; when I have subcategorization I break things down into “11-client-A-project” and “12-client-B-project” etc.)
So why would you do this? From your inbox, the label keyboard shortcut is “L” and the Move-To shortcut is “V”. The numbers that you’re keying in here can autocomplete your label from there. 95% of the time, I’ll read something quickly, fire off a reply or make a to-do, and then just type: V, the number of the label, ENTER… and it’s filed and gone.
Doing that with the label box instead of the move-to box? Key in: L, number, ENTER, and then the shortcut key for archiving/moving it out of the inbox is “E”
(Despite the fact that I do this with dozens of emails every day, I still get a huge loaded inbox, but this makes it at least plausible to catch up every 2-3 days where, without this, I would just quit email entirely, for real)
"This man conducted a horrifying murder and you guys are going, ‘let’s worry about the drugs,’" said Richard Brown, the brother-in-law of Debbie Dietz, who was 29 when she was killed in 1989. "Why didn’t they give him a bullet? Why didn’t we give him Drano?"
This guy isn’t even a blood relative and he’s prescribing drain cleaner to death row inmates. This is not a value taught to nearly anyone in this society! Why is the Associated Press printing quotes from these people? We need a mental health support system for people who think like this! Even most of the people who believe in capital punishment would never make a suggestion to a serious news outlet that we should revert to outright barbarism in our corrections system. Jesus fucking Christ.
In the incident, a car of men bearing Israeli flags, honking horns, and using sirens and flashing lights, drove many times around the Islamic Society of Bay Ridge, a local mosque with a large Palestinian membership. The men screamed anti-Arab slurs at worshipers who had gathered for Ramadan prayers at 4 am.
Worshipers had overflowed into the street to pray, because the mosque was filled to capacity with congregation members observing the holiday of Ramadan. As their car approached, the men repeatedly verbally assaulted those assembled in observance. According to JFREJ Board Member Audrey Sasson, “This is nothing less than direct intimidation of worshipers. During Ramadan, the Islamic Society of Bay Ridge has police presence nearly around the clock. Why did this incident occur during the one window when police were absent? It appears that the people in the car had staked out the area around the mosque and planned their assault to avoid the presence of police.”
Linda Sarsour, Director of the Arab American Association of New York, located in Bay Ridge, said, “Mosque members are in fear as a result of this incident, with deep concern that these men’s actions may portend physical violence in the future.”
This is terrifying. Why hasn’t this been in any of the papers? [Edit: The NYT covered it today.]
People announce registries on invitations? How dreadful.
To be fair I don’t know the etiquette on this. This is for an engagement party and not a wedding. We’d already talked about bringing a gift. This article says that maybe a registry is a bit far to take it. I shoulda looked it up with Jaya first. Never too late though. BTW I am boorish about complaining about the rental car. (Maybe I should bike it, show up in chamois spandex shorts and a Gran Fondo jersey) Do me a favor and thank the missus again for our engagement party because we can’t thank her enough. Also that infernal bar went out of business and I took a sweet joy in noticing.
That thing where you get invited to a life-event party of the kind where you ought to buy a gift from a registry, except the invite when originally sent included no mention of a registry, and then the hosts realized they forgot that so they send you a follow-up email from their “electronic invite” service that says “So-And-So Has Sent You An Update About Such-And-Such Event!!!” and the only content is an otherwise naked note about which registries the guests of honor are using, which really makes the whole BUY ME STUFF element to the occasion stand out a lot more, and you were already fully on-board with it but now you feel like you’ve been twisted into fulfilling someone’s house fixtures shopping list in exchange for the honor of setting fire to an entire Sunday afternoon (+ $180 in rental car fees) so you can sit there and count the minutes until you drive back to your fridge full of #gansett #shandy
The key to manipulating* people into doing what you want them to do is first convincing them that what you want them to do will have WONDERFUL results, such that they convince themselves that it’s insane not to do it.
A corollary to this is that you should only seek out motivated people in life.
A corollary to that is that you shouldn’t spend time with de-motivated people unless they make it super-convenient for you.
I don’t worry about de-motivated people not liking this post, because what are they gonna do, eh?
*It’s technically not manipulation if you also genuinely believe the results will be wonderful in the exact same way. Then you can call it inspiration.
I’m sitting in my desk chair and I don’t know what the deal is (posture, pinched nerve, etc.) but my right arm is suffering from shooting pains intermittently, they come and go away and come back.
You know what’s great about that? It’s not my left arm! Because it was happening there two weeks ago (it’s fine now) and you know what the Internet says about left arm pain? Well you all live on the Internet and google your illnesses so I don’t have to tell you
One of our committee members, someone who is suuuuuuuuper book smart (and most of you know what I am implying by that), just fed our mailing list trolls in a huge way:
"What we need is a priority queue, which we can create by voting on the things we’d like first. Let’s try this: [LINK TO GOOGLE POLL] Go there and vote for/against projects or suggest new ones."
Such a short career in politics. It was over before he even finished typing the sentence. How does he not instinctively know after 18 months that the committee and mailing list, sponsored by a very aggressive and well-funded non-profit, pretty much only works on the campaigns decided by the board from the parent organization?
It will be fun when we tell this handful of fussy people who are berating us for not addressing this-and-that-and-whatever (these are our 80/20 rule people, the 20% who create 80% of the irritated and irritating complaints) their suggestions for campaigns were outright ignored, like they will always be, sorry for the miscommunication about how our organization is setup, you can have a full refund of $0 if you like.
(Likewise, anyone is free to tell me anytime that my bitchy attitude has no place in the non-profit world ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )